Top 5 Killer Turtles That’d Take You Down

The Turtle. Throughout history this usually gentle animal was the symbol of patience and tranquility. Well these five turtles definitely missed the memo. The old slow and steady mantra is done away with here. When these turtles come a callin’ the brutal ass kicking that follows will be a swift one. The Wandering Ronin proudly presents our Top 5 Killer Turtles.


5.Grand Master Oogway

Technically a tortoise (we’ll let that slide) Grand master is a highly respected in the Kung fu Panda trilogy. The only thing more potent than his Kong Fu skill was his abundance of wisdom. Much like Yoda of Star Wars you get glimpses and snippets of his physical prowess, but his guidance of Po from the Spirit World proves that even in death Grand Master Oogway was no slouch.


4. Mega Blastoise

The final evolution of Squirtle when using Blastoisinite, this water type Pokémon packs serious firepower. Looking more like a Tank than a Turtle the huge water cannons that stick out from it’s shell have a blast range of 6 miles and can blast through steel and concrete like it’s nothing. One of the more popular Pokémon Blastoise has made a number of appearances throughout the series and he’s popular among many trainers. Gary’s Blastoise is among the most powerful, sending Ash back to the drawing board many times.



Growing up my favorite ninja turtle was always Michelangelo, but as an adult I have to say that Rafael has definitely taken at the forefront. He is one pissed off turtle and getting on his nerves might be the last thing you ever do. The antihero of TMNT Raph isn’t afraid to use deadly force to take it down and enemy. Nowhere near as friendly as his brothers are Raphael’s abilities and temperament puts him on par with antiheroes like Wolverine easily.


2. Bowser/King Koopa

Easily one of the most recognizable video game villains there is, Bowser has reached icon status having been in nearly every Super Mario release since 1985. With all the fire breathing and other destruction left in his wake its very easy to mistake him for a dragon (I did for a long time.) but he is in fact one very big gnarly turtle! Not only a physical menace he’s also very skilled with magic and can increase his already huge size to giant on a whim, which makes the fact that he’s constantly outsmarted by Mario very perplexing to say the least.


1. Gamera

Second only to Godzilla in popularity and reverence, Gamera is one bad ass Kaiju. Let’s face it Godzilla is kinda douchey, mostly ending up a hero by default. Gamera on the other hand has always shown a softer side towards humanity especially kids earning him titles such illustrious titles like “Guardian of the Universe” and “Friend of all Children”.  Debuting in 1965, his character design is still unique and dynamic as ever. Originally created to rival Godzilla, Gamera was given one hell of a grocery list of abilities which include flight (mach-3 speed), healing factor, near invulnerability, he can fire plasma from both his mouth and his chest, Absorb energy from the Earth itself, not to mention has gymnast level agility not bad for an 80 ton turtle! If I can find one thing wrong with Gamera, it’s that despite several rumors over the years a Godzilla vs. Gamera film has yet to be made. WTF Japan someone needs to get on that $@#t pronto! WR


Are there any Turtles we missed? Let us know in the Comments below!!!

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